Here I am.
In early February I found out I was pregnant.
Wow. 41, three kids aged between 17 and 7 and pregnant again.
41, three kids and just started her dream job (and the horrible studies to go with it), and pregnant.
After a big long talk with David, and telling the kids, my fears were allayed some. I mean having another baby was not the worst thing that could happen to us.
Still it took some time to digest. And I was tired.....boy was I tired.....and scared. Scared to give birth again - not that any of my births were bad - scared to be a mother again - scared about .... well everything. But the kids were so excited, and our families and friends were so excited and slowly but surely I got excited too - once I put down the birthing books.
24 hours later I started bleeding and 18 hours after that I had lost my baby.
Since that time I have come to realise that I have a wonderful life, three beautiful children, a gorgeous husband and a great job. To quote a favourite blogger... I am a 'familionaire'. rich with family and love.
Life has returned to normal, and in all honesty, I had all that I needed before I got pregnant, I didn't need another baby to make my life complete. It would have been nice, but not necessary.
Hopefully I will post more often, but to be honest, with work and study and kids and knitting, blogging may not happen as often. But I still read all your blogs, and I still think of you lots :) and I wanted to share this journey with you because I you are my friends.